apa la yang aku mngarut nih...

I took an EL ysterday...I woke up yesterday morning with a quesy stomach n nausea n dizziness that makes me had to lay back a few times to cool down my stomach...lastly, I called my boss n asked for an EL...after arranging for El to cover my clinic, I went back to sleep as Zaffran was already sleeping again..well its raining n its cold...so sleep was the best medicine..huhu..the whole day I was quesy n doesnt feel good..I decide I didnt want to send Zaffran to the nursery as i dont think I can drive that far..so I cooked chicken soup for lunch..while the chicken soup was broiling, then suddenly the gas finished. I had to take Zaffran to the shop n get a new gas..huhuhu..n I had to roll the heavy tong by myself tooo..boohoho...poor me..even with the chicken soup I had to take plain water to ensure the soup n rice stay in my stomach..I dont know why I feel so quesy...n the bile feels like its creeping into my esophagus n treatened to go out...huhu..its felt like when u had eaten a bad fish n u had a stomachache but without the diarea...I dnt know how to describe it... n today I can go to work but I cant even finish the rice that I took for lunch..my frens said I look like hell..hahah..ya..i think so...with the worrying about the BiG question MARK thing, n the lack of sleep..i guess i do look like hell...huhu..I talked to Ija about the big question mark thing...it calms me a bit...hope its not what Im thinking...huhuhu..speaking of Ija, she's a fren that I met tru Susuibu.com...she's the one that approached me 1st at ym..n since then I think we are quite good frens..talking to her or I mean Yming with her almost daily does makes my day...at least I got sumbody wif the same situation n status , halatuju or goal that is fully Bfdg, helps me a lot during this new journey of motherhood..she does have lots of good advice n tips though....Im sure gonna miss her after next week...huhuhu.."Ija...u takle YM kat rumah ke??heheheh" I never met her or speak to her, n even dont have her fon number but we are frens...we talk daily, change ideas, tell stories of each other...huhu..im sure gonna miss that...well, thats another thing that makes me amaze about frenship sumtimes...huhu..u never meet that one person but u can still be good frens wif them..=P

sometimes, when i reflect back of my life... in my daily life as a wife n mother, I do tend to be a bit selfish...I tend to write all the joyful think about being a mother in my blog, talked about my baby all the time even to a stranger, I dont have enuf time for my frens, I tend to be a bit selfish of myself n time...I dont know why..maybe when u are a mother, u have this feeling of protectiveness like a lioness taking care of her den , that makes ur bby ur priority above other things....I am sorry dear frens if I seems to talk so much about my bby...If I hurt u guys in sum ways..or if im being too selfish about my happiness or my new life...or i seems to ignore what u r going tru or doesnt cntact u too often...I am so sorry...its just that, sometimes when I am sleep deprived,when I am tired, I am only thnking about myself, my husband, my bby, my life n tend to forget others... sometimes I cant help feeling a bit jealous for those who are still so single n available that have all the time in the world for themselves...travel here n there,having so much fun huhuhu..n can sleep all they want...huhu..but wat Im going tru is such a blast actually...i dont regret it but I felt a stabbed in my heart sumtimes of sadness n feeling of guilt when people said that they are so jealous of what I have in my life..I wish I can whipped my magic wand n make them so happy too....n I pray the best for them so that they would find the joy that I have in their life..InsyAllah...


ish...apa yg aku mbebel pun taktahu la...huhu...

PSssstttt: this is the tired mind talking...huhu..dont listen to any of this or take it to the heart..its just sumtg ringankan minda aku yg tgh risau..huhuhu