week 35: luving him soooo much

This is day number 245 and you're 35 weeks pregnant!You have 35 days or 5 weeks left, and are 87.5% of the way there.Baby's age since conception is 231 days or 33 weeks.




Fetal Development
Your baby weighs about 5.5 pounds and will continue to gain about half a pound per week until you deliver. He or she stretches out to 20.25 inches as it approaches full term. Stem cells in the bone marrow continue to produce red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets to maintain a healthy immune system, but there is not really any development remaining for arms, legs, brain or organs. Your baby will simply continue to grow in size as it readies for its big debut.



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tgal a few more weeks to go..I really am excited but scared a bit.. lately I cant seems to stop countig down the days till my due date..I cant seem to stop wanting to eat that n this, or goes here n there...its like Im trying to cram evrytg in this final days..my life as a mum to be..anytg could happen during labour, anytg could happen in this final month...just doa spya suma akan InsyAllah ok dan slmt...bnyak yg perlu disettlekan sblum aku deliver..kejer ofuis, research aku, SKT tgh thun, nak lepaskan pt2 di wad, nak bli baju n tdg raya, tmph bju raya, brg2 nak guna ms pntg, kmas brg2 utk bslin..bnyak sgguh...rs tak ckup ms je...=(

n lately I seems to want to be soooo near zulffi n cuddle him, hug him, kiss him more frequently...its like Im craving for his attention only for this final months n weeks..bcoz after this, his love, his attention would be split into two...me n the baby...so slgi boleh aku nak kasih dan syg dia hnya ttumpu utk aku seorg sahaja...bila shri tak spend ms dgn dia rs lonely n sunyi sgt...bila dia usap2 perut n kiss perut aku, aku rs happy n bhgia sgt..bila bby tndg n gerak2 n tgn dia diletakkan atas perut aku, berkgsi merasakan rs yang sama, buat aku rs content dan disygi..kdg2 act nya kcil dan bsahaja ttp buat aku trasa bhgia yg amat...mgkin sb itu aku sntiasa mahu bsama dia, bkgsi dan trus mnyemai bnih kasih ini...

tpi bila tfikir kdgkala kmgkinan yg bakal tjdi buat aku sdih n sayu...maybe aku paranoid pk bkn2 but ntah knapa aku sllu merasakan yg mcm time aku limited skrg...hmm...napa ya?adakah aku paranoid n rasa tak bsdia nak jdi ibu?hmmm aku pun taktahu..just cant stop pk yg bukan2....aku tak bgtau zulffi sb aku tak nak dia marah n sdih aku ckp yg bkn2 n aku tak nak ia jdi doa plak..so aku lbih sng utk snyap dan pndamkan.....hmmmmphhhh...i luv himmm soooo much...kdg kala rs tak ckup pkataan nak aku bgtau apa yg aku rs..wpun bila laut mcm pasang dan surut, bergelora, aku ttp sygkan dan cintakan dia spnuh hati aku...spnjng 8 bulan ni dia mmg amik berat sgt psl diri aku dan jaga aku btul2...apa aku nak, nak mkn esp dia akan cuba tunaikan...dia mudahkan khdpn aku shrian spnjng aku mgndg...tak bnyak kerenah dia esp bab mkn...cuma aku yg kdg2 buat prgi mrajuk n trasa hati tah papa..hmmm..hormon?maybe...or mmg aku mengada..hahahah..apa2 pun, tq sayang jaga qay n sygkan qay spnuh hati syg.....luv u sooo mucho mucho........

tak sabarnyer rasaaaaa....

tggal bbrapa mggu lagi utk aku mdakap dan mcium anak di dlm kndgn aku ini...stiap saat aku menanti dgn penuh debar dan sabar..aku trsa smkin besar dan berat pdhal tiada perubahan yang ketara sgt sbnrnya....kaki aku yg smmgnya sdah bngkak smkin bngkak.tgn2 aku chubby2 belaka smpi dr cincin aku yg 3 hnya satu yang boleh pakai, cincin kwen yang smmgnya di beli dgn saiz yg bsar...cincin putih berbentuk hati aku itu tpksa dismpan dahulu krana boleh msuk tp tak boleh kluar..huhu..seriusly, aku miss baju2 aku, jeans aku...huhuh..well lgi 5 mggu je pun..sabar ye qay...hehe..

brg2 baby suma dah siap.cuma blum kemas msuk beg saja lagi...suma ingtkan aku spya sgra simpan n siapkan brg ltak dlm kete, sng jika bslin awal...hmm..nntila...apa yg ditgguhkan pun aku taktahu...ketidaksabaran utk menntikan khdiaran anak ini mkin kuat..apatah lagi bila memandang brg2 yg tlh dibeli, mcium bau bdak bby yang sdh semestinya sinonim dgn baby..=) ooohhh..sgt tidak sabar...cuma brg2 utk ibunya slps bslin je blum beli..hehehe...lihatkan...anak juga yang diutamakan daripada ibu sndri...inilah kasih dan sayang ibu yang aku sndri mula rskan...perasaan kasih pd anak yang bakal lahir ini smkin kuat..smkin rs dkt dgn aku..bkn tidak sayang slama ni, tp sejak akhir2 ini prsaan itu mkin kuat apatah lagi sjak anak ini mkin kuat bergerak dan menujah2 perut aku spt dia juga trsa tidak slsa kerana smkin bsar dan ruang utk bergerak smkin kcik, mbuatkan dia smkin kuat mencari ruang shgga kdg2 buat aku trasa skit..kdg2 trsa spt dia mnolak kakinya ke bhgian bwah yang dkat dgn buah pinggang aku dan bhgian pggungnya menolak di bhgian atas perut.lenguh barangkali anakku ini..hehehe ..kdgkala mcm bby siku atau menolak2 tgn nya ke perut aku....nak cri ruang kosng utk bergerak lagi kot..heheheh..seronok n indah sgt rs...lps ni sure aku akan miss all this feeling...a bond that I share wth my baby...

sjak aku mngndg, aku lbih rapat dgn ummi..barangkali slps aku sndri merasakan penat jerih n tidak selesa dan prasaan mgngdg itu sndri..barangkali apa yang aku rskan hnya sdkit drpd apa yg ummi rskan smsa mgndgkan aku...aku kira tmsuk dlm kaetgori yang beruntg sms mngndg...aku tidak ada alahan spt loya2 yang melampau, muntah2, tidak lalu mkn, pecah kulit perut, pigmentasi dll...aku sht, lalu mkan shgga berat aku naik dgn bnyaknya...dan alahan kulit sikit2 di awal khmilan...sumanya buatkan aku kdg2 tlupa yg aku mngndg shgga baby bergerak baru aku yakin n rs aku smmngnya mngndg..kiranya mmg tuhan sygkan aku..diberi nikmat yang sdemikian rupa..syukur Alhamdulillah.....hmmm moga hari2 yang mdtgkan aku akan btmbh kuat dan sht insyAllah...smga anak ini lahir dgn smpurna dan sht akal fikiran dan tbuh badan...amin....

minggu2 terakhir ini..

Banyak yang ingin diceritakan, dibicarakan ttpi tkdg isu2nya tllu snsitif dan private...kdg aku tllu sibuk dgn khdpan aku shrian utk mngambil ms utk mcoret..dgn pt di wad, dgn jurnal2 yg perlu dibaca utk research, questionaire yg perlu direka dan isu2 opis yg kdg melemaskan minda dan jiwa...tidak campur isu2 di rumah lagi yang kdg2 mbuai dan mghayunkan emosi aku...
hmmppp...tgal bbrapa mnggu lagi utk aku truskan status aku sbgi istri zulffi sahaja dan sntiasa bduaan dgn zulffi, bermesra dan menyulam kengn indah cinta...tggal bbrapa mnggu lgi shaja akan hdir insan bru dlm khdpn aku dan zulffi, yang bakal mngubah corak khdpn dan ms dpan aku...dan tggal bbrpa mngu shja lagi utk aku truskan hdp aku dlm keadaan yg serba tak kna ini yg ada kala nya mbhgiakan dan adakalanya meresahkan...

bkn aku tidak happy dgn perkmbgn baru ini ttpi kdgkala semuanya menakutkan...trutama bila aku bnyak bfikir dan merenung ms dpn yg tak psti...spt yg aku pnah ckp pd dura dulu, aku mjaga wad kanak2 di husm..mcm2 yg aku tgok dan mcm2 yg aku nmpk dan rskan..aku takut, aku gerun dan aku sangsi jika ada tslah kata n perilaku aku pd anak2 itu atau ibubapa mereka yg bakal mjdi tulah pd anak aku ini..aku tkut apa yg blku pd anak2 itu akan tjdi pd anak aku ini..aku sllu tfikir bgimana tuhan brikan kkuatan utk ibu2 itu mjaga dan mngasuh dan bsabar dgn anak2 yang dr kcil lagi sudah mpunyai mslh kshtn, cacat, kanser dll...aku jd gerun...aku jd resah....aku sllu juga tfikir, knapa kanak2 sekecil itu sudah ditimpa bbgi dugaan..salah siapakah itu?dugaan tuhan utk ibu bapanya atau salah ibunya smsa mgndgkah yg myebabkan anak sdemikian rupa?aku sangsi dan aku takut jika ada yg salah dan silap yg aku buat slma aku mgndg ini yg bakal mbntuk anak dlm kndgn ini...aku sllu tfikir bgimanakah bila bsr anak ini..akan mjdi anak yg taat pd Tuhan dan Rasulnya, ptuh dan taat pd ibu bapanya atau sebaliknya...akan jdi anak yg baik, sabar, lemah lembut atau sebaliknya...kerana aku tahu apa sahaja yg aku lakukan dan rasakan semuanya bakal mpengaruhi anak itu,,mgkin sdah tlewat utk aku risaukan dan fikirkan semua itu ttp, apa yg harus aku lakukan????dan adakah aku juga bakal mjdi ibu yang baik, yang mithali, yang pnyayang yang mngutamakan anaknya drpd jiwa dan dirinya..???

bila dibincangkan isu bersalin pula, aku smkin resah dan takut..mcm2 cerita aku dgr...tkut dan ngeri memikirkan...apa yg bakal tjdi...akan survive ka aku?miza pnah kata, ms skit bslin mcm2 dia tpkir, dah smpt minta maaf pd suma org ke belum...spt btrung nyawa nak mlhirkan...adik Cam pula dgn komplikasinya, buatkan aku smkin rsah..bila aku sntiasa dilayukan dgn novel2 yg sering aku baca lately buatkan aku tidak pnya ms utk bkhayal dan bfikir yg bukan2...ttpi bila aku dlm keadaan bjaga dan berseorangan di ofis ni cthnnya,buat aku resah.zulffi kata jgn fikir yg bukan2 atau tllu bnyak tp hakikatnya aku yg akan alami semua itu ,melalui sgala dugaan itu..Maka di akhir cerita, aku pndmkan ksmua apa yg aku rsa dan risaukan di dlm hati utk tidak mgocakkan air yg tenang itu...hmphhh

week 34: ANC alone

today I went to my ANC alone as zulffi had started working at Kuala Krai n its far from Kubang kerian for him to come for the apmnt as he previously did...it makes me a bit sad..I dont know why..its not that I never went to the ANC apmt alone..it just makes me...hmmm...sad???well the apmnt was briefed but long wait...as usual..Dr Haira said the baby is fine n active..the heart beat is strong...I am glad for that..well, I can feel the baby moving all the time..well...almost..hehe..cant wait for him to come into the world n make my day..after this my apmnt would be every 2weeks till the baby is born..as it really is necessary to see the baby condition n position..hmmm

my tummy is so huge rite now..so is my swollen feet.I cant even wear my beige color Croc sandal anymore..even my brown sandal almost cant fit...n my hips keep hurting esp when I walked n stand too long. Maktok said my tummy looks like its going down( Perut dah turun bawah!!) meaning its not going too long till the baby come..hehe..2nd cicit maktok..heheh but luckily, Alhamdulillah, my tummy didnt have a stretch mark..Thank God for that....at least one good thing for me..=)

abumi maktokwan came for the weeknd last Friday n went back to Penang yesterday...it makes my house fso full of voices n laughter n noises...It just makes me soo happy..usually its just the two of us in the house...we brought maktokwan abumi to eat Nasi Ulam Cikgu in PC.well, everybody was so full and satisfied with the food n price for such large feast..hehe..bleh la p mkan lagi...

ahad, aku bw ummi amktok n aris p pasar MKPB.saja cari kaftan, kain batik, bntal n tilam baby. then mlm bw p Wakaf Che Yeh plak bli keropok n buah...wpun pnat tp puas hti dpt bw jalan.bkn sng maktok wan nak dtg rumah aku...dpt bw g jalan pun alhamdulillah...wpun actually bdn teramat pnat n skit kaki sb dari ari khmis lagi asyik bjalan ja g tganu, tpi hati puas dpt bw maktok umi jalan2...nest time maktok dtg kn lama skit dok..tak puas rsnya ddk skjap sgt..
bila ummi mai, spt biasala..dpt mkn mcm2 wpun simple...ayam msk kicap ummi, pulut sekaya maktok, cucur peneram n ketupat pulut n rndng..sdapnyaaaa....puas hati dpt mkn...huhuhu...
abu bw wan p Bunut Payong tgok n ziarah tmpt tokwan ngaji ms muda2 dulu n tgok kubur tok guru wan...puas hati dpt pnuhkan hjat wan wpun abu yg bawa..heheheh...bila smlm abumi maktok wan blik rs kesik n sunyi sgt..rs tak puas dduk bmnja ngan abumi maktokwan..lps ni bila la nak mai lagi..aku tak sbr nak blik pnang ps bslin nnti...huhu...

tmbhn plak ngan zulffi dh mula kja bru, kuar awal n blik lmbt, rs snyi plak bila blik umah...n risau kslmtn dia ulg alik ari2..but at least dpt jg ddk ngan aku..dpd duduk bjauhan..takpela..smntara saja ni..sabar la qay eh...lps ni mmg bnyak bnda aku nak kn buat sndri..esp msak sb zulffi smpi umah pun dah lmbt..sian dia pnat kja n travel...tp wknd dia ada umah..kurg2nya bleh tman aku...kalo dia takde, n tak happy aku pun rs tak happy juga...sb spruh nyawa n hati aku pd dia...moga dgn khdiran bby ni akan lbih ceriakan hdup aku n adala peneman aku bila dia takde atau kja...I love u soo much syg..miss u...

brg ibu plak

this week dah msuk mggu 33 aku mngndg..mkin kurang hari yang dinnti mnggu saat kelahiran.tgal 7mgu lgi..InsyAllah....hmmm..few more weeks yg tak dpt nak dijgka n dibygkan...bby mkin aktif n kuat bgerak.kdg2 rs skit n tak slsa sgt.esp bila bby bgrak dgn sngt bnyak n cpt..kdg2 rs bby mcm gerak n tndg kat buah pinggang n bladder..(boleh ke?heheh)
taktahu nak ckp mcmana prsaan tu n apa yg aku rs.kdg bila mnum air bnyak kalo bby grak2 sgt rs nak terPu ja..on the spot..sounds gross but its the truth.. Selera mkn pun mkin kurg..tak rs nak mkn sgt.mgkin sb cpt mngah n rs pnuh kot...nasi pun tak berapa nak mkn sgt. tp kalo dpt udg grg knyit sdappppp sgt rs.puas ati dpt mkn...

sejak dah bli sofa, rs lbih lega bila berbaring n tgok tv.takla skit sgt pggang n pggung lgi..rs best sgt...hehe..it takes us 1yr plus utk bli..bkn taknak bli awal but tak jmpa yg bknan di hati sgt..
so dah dpt skrg rs best sgt..hahah..slow2 la kan nak mula hdup...kat opis skrg pun mkin bnyak btnya pd kak za psl bslin n pntg..nak tnya pd sapa lagi...ummi, mcm sgan..ngn kak za dia cita direct..tak kisah dah nak malu ka nak segan ka..sng phm..heheh..but apa yg dia cita mmg sgt bguna..at least aku tahu apa yg perlu di expect..hmm...

arini, taktahu nak watpa..so cari psl nak bli bengkung n set bslin apa..hmm..bnyak gak..nak kn pk blik ni...ada dah idea..brg bby dah abis bli.ni brg maknya plak..hehehe..bnyak juga ni..hmmm

shopping for baby and daddy

This is day number 220 and you're 31 weeks pregnant!You have 60 days or 9 weeks left, and are 78.6% of the way there.Baby's age since conception is 206 days or 29 weeks. You are due on 7/2/2008.




Fetal Development
Your baby now weighs approximately 3.5 pounds, measures about 18 inches from head to toe, and is getting used to the world of light and dark by opening and closing its eyes. Its facial muscles continue to strengthen, and your baby can make different expressions.

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labour day last week Zulffi n I went shopping for our baby's stuff n daddy's stuff also...we decide to go eraly in the morning to avoid the hassle n tassle as its public Holiday..we went shopping for daddy's stuff 1st. it was quite exciting as we havent done this for a while...lucky for us there's sale for Mother's day or Labour's day I am not sure but who cares as long its SALE!!!!!!!hahaha.

later on we went shopping for baby's stuff..I was really excited to buy n pick all sorts of stuff for the baby..like Zulffi said, it's like buying a whole new set of stuff for a new starting for a new life of a new person...it's exhilirating n both of us was really excited..there lots of stuff to buy n choose...but after deciding what's important n what's not important, we only bought the neccessary stuff for the baby..what's the use of buying all sorts of stuff but in the end u are not even gonna use or just use it for a few weeks or months..isnt it...but most importantly, now we are ready for the baby to arrive..well almost ready..still had some small tit bits thats need to be bought but there's still time InsYAllah..well, as usual, sum of the stuff I picked are Pooh's stuff, the traveling bag, the mosquito net, the cap, the pillow n I am itching to buy the whole set of mattress n pillow n comforter but I had to restarined myself as those things we had already have...hahhaa...truk betul aku...suma nak Pooh n yg bestnya zulffi pun kira ok ja n so aku amik je la..hahaha...

all in all its been a terrific day although its tiring..n when I went home n opened the stuff n everytgm I started to day dream of my baby wearing those stuff..and I am sooooooooooooooo excited to wait for the baby to come....8 more weeks...huhuhuh..cptla anak ibu..ibu dah tak sbr nak jmpa anak ibu ni....