Sunday, May 9, 2010

menanam benih kasih di hari ibu...

 seawal pagi lagi aku sdh mghntr msg pd umi dan pd mama..mnyampaikan rs kasih syg ku pd mereka, ucapan terima kasih pd ksih syg, didikan , pengorbanan mereka mbsar kan aku dan suami shingga ke hari ini..wpun tiada blsn dr mama, aku berharap mama dpt buka dan baca sms aku tu...


suasana keluarga suami yang agak berbeza dgn kluarga aku yang sntiasa cuba mengambil peluang menyatakan rs kasih dan penghargaan dengan menyambut hari2 istimewa kluarga spt birthday, hari ibu, bapa, anniversary mbuatkan aku trasa sdikit kekok utk melahirkan rs kasih ku pd mama...d awal perkahwinan, aku pernah membelikan kad dan mnyuruh adik2 ipar ku sign dan tulis speatah dua kata buat mama, masing2 spt pelik dan dan spt tidak biasa ..alih2 aku aja yang beria tulis ucapan, sdkt kata2 buat mama, yang lain semua hnya sign sahaja....aku tidak tahu apa reaksi dan perasaan mama...namun aku berharap, mama gembira spt mana aku tahu umi juga gmbira...menjaga perasaan mama sama pentingnya dengan menjaga hati ummi aku...tiada mama, tiada la zulffi, dan sdh pasti tiada zaffran rizqi...

pd aku, tiada yang lebih bermakna drpd mjadi seorang ibu...wpun ada tikanya , aku have this dreaded feeling of being a mum when im stuck with caring n taking care for another human who rely on you 247, not having the me time for myself, having to think of bringing ur child with u even when u want to have some fun time with ur frens...but i wouldnt trade or change anytg in my stat than being a mum....

having the joy of ur child calling ur name, kissing u, laughing with u, sitting on ur lap n watch tv or read books together, holding ur hands for support when walking, clinging to u when he wants something, seeing his eyes lights up brightly when he saw u, n hearing him crying for u.it cannot be trade for anythg even the largest diamond in the world...


the day that i learn to really appreciate my mum was during the few last months of my pregnancy..and of cos during the labour..just laying there helpless feeling the pain cruising tru my body, all of my memories of my  mum came sailing tru my mind n eyes..i kept thinking bout how much my mum did n do for me, how much she loves me, what i have said n did in the past years n esp during my teens age that hurt her so much n make her cried...how did i make her happy...and so on...and how i wish i had not make those mistakes that hurt my mum and makes her sad.. it just makes me realize, there's so much more than just being or holding the title, MUM....


having a son that I love sooo much...so much more than myself, with all my heart n soul makes me wanted to give the best for him...having him, n holding him besides me, hugging him, smelling him so close n near me when he sleeps, makes my heart feels like bursting with loves n care for the little one...


and remembering that my son someday gonna be  a husband to some woman, makes me always reminding myself that, if i want my son to be loving me and treat me well in my golden years, I have to start planting the seeds now, by doing the right thing  to my mother in law...treating her as i would treat my mum, making her happy as i would make my mum happy, remind my hsbd to go and see her, call her, care for her...some of the things, i'm doing now is what i saw from what my parents did since I was small...even how much i want to go back near my family, i still have to remember, that a son's place is by his mum, and a wife's place is by her husbd...so, I believe, I have to start planting the seed of love in my son from now on to bear the fruit of love in the later years...




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